Finding Your Way Back

“Somewhere along the way, I took the wrong turning and now I don’t know how to find my way back”

Happiness for Beginners

Recently, I came across some notes I had taken during an online seminar called “How to Find Your Purpose”.  The seminar was given by Mark Leruste (Mark Leruste) in September 2021 when so many of us were struggling with the way forward during lockdown.  Mark’s advice is as insightful today as it was back then.

There are 7 common myths when it comes to working out your purpose:

1. Myth: You need to have clarity before you choose your purpose and a clear idea before you start. 

   Instead check out useful resources like Simon Sinek’s book Start with Why but just start somewhere.

   
   

2. Myth: Once you choose your purpose, you are bound to it for life. 

   This is simply not true.  Have fun with experimenting.

   
   

3. Myth: You have to be on the same journey as everyone else.

   While it may be useful to feel inspired by other people’s stories, make the journey your own. And remember that comparison is the thief of joy.

   
   

4. Myth: Once you’re in a box, or you’ve been given a label (or given yourself a label), you’re always going to be in the same box. 

   Jump out of the box or remove the label if it no longer works for you.

   
   

5. Myth: You’re too old or it’s too late

   Mark shared a wonderful quote – “Anything is possible until your last breath” – how liberating is that?

   
   

6. Myth: Your purpose has to be epic or life changing or world changing

   Mark recommended using the UN’s Sustainable Development Goals as a “purpose hack” – take a look at these – do any of them inspire you? Use these as inspiration but without the pressure!

   
   

7. Myth: It’s only young people who are interested in finding their purpose. 

   I remember once speaking to the Global Head of Banking at an international bank who said to me “You know, I’ve been doing this job for decades and my purpose is as important to me today as it was when I was a junior banker”.

So what are the myths or stories that you keep telling yourself that are getting in your way?

Start thinking about how you can re-examine what matters to you and take one step in that direction.  To help you along your journey, Mark highlighted some questions to ask yourself:

1. What are your core values?  There’s no right or wrong answer.  Identify 3 – 5 core values. How can you find a way of living these values?

   
   

2. What are your passions?  What brings you joy?  How often do you do the things that you’re passionate about? What specific causes are you drawn to?

   
   

3. What is your inner geek?  What is something that you do in your spare time that inspires you?

   
   

4. What are you curious about?  Follow your curiosity. This may have nothing to do with your day-to-day job but it sparks an interest and a desire to find out more.

   
   

5. Who inspires you and why? Which individuals inspire you politically, culturally or socially? Who has been on the same quest that you’re contemplating?

   
   

6. What are your gifts? What does everyone always compliment you on? 

   
   

7. What steps can you take right now towards exploring your micro quest? What steps can you take without any guarantee of success?

   
   

8. Are you waiting for a sign that you’re doing the right thing? Unfortunately, no tablet of stone is going to find its way down the mountain to you telling you to go ahead with your quest or take the first step.  A mentor once said to me, “there’s a time to stop talking, and a time to start doing”. Having said that, practice self-compassion and know that you are enough and that you’re doing the best that you can.

People get stuck when they feel they have to figure out the whole journey.

So the best place to start is wherever you are.